So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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