Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
where are you?
Hypothermia
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
