A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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