Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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