Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im six kinds of drunk right now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
