Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
