guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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