Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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