before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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