i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize