And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.