Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day