I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
