Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
