They should really pass out barf bags in church
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
