You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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