I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
