still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
