I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
