Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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