Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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