Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
