Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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