Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
