Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize