You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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