wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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