I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
