I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize