My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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