I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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