i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
