Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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