someone get that fucking seahorse.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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