i think i have herpe
just one?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
