i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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