So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize