I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
