I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
