I need help removing her.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
