Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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