Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
only you would photoshop your dick
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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