I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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