Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
