the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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