Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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