Porn is love you can see.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
