my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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