when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
