white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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