you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
