i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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