and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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