Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
