You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
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He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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