So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just threw up on my dentist
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
