He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize