it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
