Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
