is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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