Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
