farters have to be the big spoon...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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