her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
